Understanding Love

By Johanna Sparrow

What you put in your relationship will return to you when you think it’s done

What are you looking for in your relationship? 

How long are you willing to wait?

Can you see love, are or you focused on the negative?

Is the relationship worth your time and patience?

Love seems to offer three basic ingredients in order for you to stay around, understanding, patience and companionship. You have never thought of being by yourself and now you feel like your relationship or your partner is not doing it for you like they once did.  Maybe it’s you, you’ve grown tired of the same old routine and seek change. But before you toss out your partner, maybe you need to take a look at yourself and your want for love in your relationship.  You can’t keep questioning your partner as if he or she is the problem as to why you aren’t happy or burning out from the highs and lows of your passionate loving relationship. Could it be more that’s going on or are you just mentally burnt out with the thought of it? Are you giving more of yourself in this relationship while your partner goes in and out at will? Have you had the big talk about the next steps in your relationship or are you waiting for the right moment? News flash you have to go after what you want and lying around in a dried out and dying relationship is not going to answer those questions you have inside unless you communicate them to your partner.

You may feel like you’ve been taken advantage of in your relationship this is nothing new, it all depends on what side you are on. Don’t kid yourself about the three signs of love since you are fighting your feelings and those underlying issues at the same time with a dismissive partner.

The fact that you have come to a place where you are looking at your life as a single person has hit you right smack in the face. Who are you kidding? You have been going through the motions of ending your relationship this time now, but you can’t bring yourself to do it.  Confusion and your inability to let go of the only love you’ve known is stronger than ever, but this you already know.

If this is what you wanted why can’t you move on?

It’s never easy to move on with your life if you know that you are still in love with your partner.  Many times the realization of loving someone else is more than one can deal with.  Relationships take work and you must be willing to work hard at having the love you desire.  Sometimes having someone to help you work your relationship issues out can benefit you in the long run.  Whoever told you that love did not hurt from time to time was telling you the truth, but it’s not the end of your relationship by any means.   Right now it does not matter how you got to this place in your life, what matters is your next move.

Can you trust again?

Of course you can, but it will take letting go of your fear of being hurt.  Loving someone does not mean you won’t ever love again. It’s just means that the relationship you were so invested in has come to an end if that’s what you want.  Your blender of emotions stops you from moving on with your life. Sure you will be out of sorts for a while because you have a broken heart, but your life is not over and you should know that.

If you want love to work, you must work on those issues in your relationship that keep you up at night.  Once you let go of the past, you can trust again and have the relationship that you thought you could never have.

Do you love your partner?

Face it, you have a strong bound and nothing has been able to break you two apart, so why now?  Lately you find that you are not as happy with your partner and something is wrong, but you are not sure what that is. This is not the time to stand in the corner and not say anything to the person who has stood by your side over the last year or so.

Keep it together and fight for your relationship. One bad day is not the end of your love.  Listen to your heart when it comes to your relationship and how you feel. Talking to your partner before things get out of hand is the key to having a healthy love life. Do you want things to work out?  You will have moments where you are in love and not, but don’t let go of your relationship.

Never give up on your relationship

You will have moments in your relationship that will make you want to walk away, don’t. all depends on if you or your partner was ready to go. You can’t stay with someone who you no longer loves or respects you. No matter how you feel at this moment you will get past those feelings of sadness, depression, betrayal and loneliness.  Never give up on your relationship are the love you have for your partner. Life issues can come in and take away the romance in your relationship, but don’t give in or let go.

Below is a list of ways to save your relationship.

• Pressure- don’t allow the pressures of life issues to take away your love in your relationship.
• Fear- never allow fear to keep you from sharing what’s on your heart with your partner.
• Trust-think about to why you love this person and stay focus.
• Fight-if your relationship is worth fighting for you will do whatever you need to keep it strong.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you should walk away from your relationship when you know you have invested so much time and love.  Know people will try to talk you out of what you have because they don’t have it.  Be careful who you tell your business too if you don’t want it to get back to you the wrong way.  Folks who are not in a strong relationship have no business telling you how to work on keeping yours. If you don’t pay attention to what’s going on in and around your relationship, you will allow the wrong things as well as people in to influence it.

You will have good and bad days in your relationship but that is the reason to give up and walk away. Sure you will have those moments but find out what you can do to make it work. Do you want to make things work? Are you giving it your all? These are just a few questions you must face when dealing with the sin of loving someone.  Love can feel like war at times, but it’s okay. You don’t have sunny days always and what you do when things are not perfect is what makes your relationship.

Know that your relationship will survive whatever is going on and you have to be in the front of what is wrong to fix it. Having a partner that speaks his or her mind can make difficult times easy.  What are you willing to give up for your relationship to work? If you find yourself back down that road of hurt and pain, change what’s happening.  Keep in mind how mind times you have been down this road with your partner and if it’ is worth working out.  Love will hurt from time to time but it is how you get through it all.  Love can repair itself if you give it a fighting chance.  If you need someone to help you get through your problems in your relationship seek out a relationship expert. Sometimes you need someone to help you figure out what is going on and how to fix your relationship.  Many people walk away from love every day not giving it a chance to grow, fight for your love.

Below is a list of how you must look at love.

• Be willing to listen to your partner.
• Be understanding and seek out ways to help your relationship grow.
• Speak up and say what is on your mind.

At the end of the day, your relationship will become the loving relationship you desire, it just takes a little sweat and tears.

I love discussions on making love last, this is why I plan to release a new self-help book that covers just that topic alone, “The Seven Sins of Love,” December 23r, 2016 on Amazon.

I’ve been writing for over 18 years and have published a variety of books from children’s books to self-help books dealing with relationship, personal growth and conflict issues. As a relationship expert, life couch and author helping others is what I do. Ask Johanna Consulting service is created for my readers and those who have questions pertaining to love and life issues. Visit me at www. johannasparrow.com or on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Johanna-Sparrow/e/B00N8EB3J2/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

New self-help book releases coming in 2016:

The Seven Sins of Love

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